Sindria's guide to Marysues in Magi
by Reibunriinta
Summary: A crack fic in which various Magi characters give their advice to up and coming MarySues. XD (Rated T to be safe)
1. Introduction (-Sinbad)

Welcome, I am king Sinbad, conqueror of the seven seas and the coolest guy you'll know.

And you are you, as you might have guessed.

Anyway, as I have had the pleasure meeting many of your kind I'll consider myself an expert on this subject, and so consider this a guide to help you adjust to our world.

What am I talking about you may ask?

You are a special individual known as a Mary Sue (I heard one of you say that once...so I have no clue where it originated from.) you have come here, probably from the planet earth, having been magically brought to this world.

You're going to be disoriented for a while, but follow this guide's directions and everything will be fine. -King Sinbad, the adventurer of the seven seas.


	2. Arrival-Sinbad

So first of all is your arrival.

Marysues arrive in many ways, but true to your power and awesomeness they are all epic.

Most commonly the first person you'll meet is me, and then you'll meet Ja'far, my most trusted companion who will most certainly be nagging me about something.

You may be reminded of something in your world called YAOI, in which case your wondering is Ja'far gay.

I would think that he is, though I don't really know, so you'll have to ask him yourself.

In rare cases you might meet a Djin, a Magi, or someone from the Kou empire first, which makes you extra special, but this is unlikely so I won't go into it much.

Nothing overly important will happen until you meet me, and then Ja'far, and then the rest of my friends.

Now that you're here I look forward to meeting you. -King Sinbad, adventurer of the seven seas.


	3. Warnings-Ja'far

After a certain king of mine whose name I will not mention, decided to invent the need to inquire about a certain advisor's personal life, I have decided to butt in.

My private life is none of your concern. Nor is it any of Sin's.

In fact, that brings up a point I would like to make to you, and one that I pray you will understand.

Do not engage anyone romantically during your stay here, especially Sinbad. The king is unfaithful and will most likely manipulate you.

Besides your stay here will already be difficult enough as it is, you do not need romance complicating things.

Please head my advice -Ja'far, general from the alliance of the seven seas.


	4. Love expert Yamuraiha

Hello, I'm Yamuraiha, and I'll be your love expert today.

The first thing that is going to happen is you're going to fall in love with somebody very soon after you arrive, so I'll tell you how to charm everybody.

First there is Sinbad, he will charm you from the moment you meet him, though you will most likely deny it and act all sassy at first. (I believe I heard the term Tsundere used once by one of you to describe this, but I can't be too sure.)

Anyway with Sinbad the trick is to get him to stay faithful. This can take years and it also will help for you to become either a household member or a metal vessel user. (Because lets face it a little power wouldn't hurt.)

Sinbad likes em' strong, so you'll need to learn to be sassy and you need to always have comebacks ready to retort. Just don't nag on him like Ja'far does.

Speaking of Ja'far I'll talk about him next. If you happen to fall for him somehow (which is relatively rare because, let's face it he's gay.) then getting him to come unto you is very difficult indeed.

First, you need to be prudent. Carry yourself with dignity, and don't just throw yourself at him. You'll need to warm him up, so spend as much time as reasonably possible with him.

He is a workaholic, so I suggest you volunteer to work with him. When you do this make sure and stay focused and don't do anything clumsy. Clumsiness might be cute to some people, but despite being cute as a puppy himself, Ja'far has a heart of steel when it comes to cute things. Clumsiness will only annoy him, occasionally it's okay, but do NOT do it on purpose more than once or he will kill you.

Also, he isn't a total stick in the mud, so don't forget to be silly when appropriate, he does actually have a tiny bit of a sense of humor after all.

Next is dumbass— I mean Sharrkan. I don't know what you could possibly see in that idiot, except maybe his looks. (He is kind of hot as far as insignificant little hot heads go.)

Sharrkan is easy as pie. Just stroke his ego constantly and learn to swing a sword and he'll be in love with you.

And good riddance! The maybe he'll stop nagging me about magic all the time.

You can trust me when it comes to charming him, because I spend more time with him than anyone else.

Though honestly I don't suggest that you do charm him. That little bastard is mine— I mean, I'm the only one who can deal with him, and he doesn't deserve a girlfriend anyway. :P

Next is Masrur, but to be honest...I don't really know what he likes in a girl. He's not gay. (Like Ja'far) but he's pretty aloof with those he doesn't know well. He's got a dry sense of humor and an adorable smirk, so if you can get him to laugh then it's a pretty good guess you are on the right track. Unlike jackass over there, he doesn't need an ego boost, although praising him on his strength occasionally won't hurt.

Then there are people from the Kou empire that your kind have fallen for too.

Your first choice will likely be Kouen. I don't know much about him, but my guess is that he wants some fresh air. He'll want you to be witty, passionate, and smart, a breath of life in his otherwise stressful world. Support his ambitions and all will go well, but fair warning we will be enemies after that, or sort of anyway as Sindria and Kou are sort of at war.

Then there is Judar. If you find anything appealing about that creep then good for you, you're a psycho. First you'll have to stop him from killing you. A good way to do this would be to become an ally of Kou BEFORE you meet him. You can talk to many people to accomplish this, but Kouen is your best bet. Then you'll need to become as psycho as he is, also he's relatively sadistic...so being a masochist wouldn't hurt. Moral of the story, stay away from that guy, please.

Another person you might fall for is prince Hakuryuu. This one will be difficult, because ever since Morgiana broke his heart he's been gay like Ja'far. But if your charming enough he might come onto you. This guy is lonely and has more baggage than a cargo ship. So one give him attention, be very clingy and you can't go wrong. Also you're going to have the worse mother-in-law in all of history, so you'll have to help him kill her as well.

You'll also have to fight against Judar, since like Ja'far he is also gay, and will become very jealous and try to kill you.

There are others of course, but I think I've said enough for now. Love -Yamuraiha, general in the alliance of the seven seas.


	5. A warning from Judar

FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT

Heya, Judar here. I stole this book from lord moron's lap dog Ja'far.

Don't worry, your precious wittle advisor is fine...for now.

Why would I steal this book you ask?

I WANT YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY WAY!

I've run into your type before, you think because you're 'special' that you can just go and do whatever you want.

But that privilege belongs only to ME!

You get in my way and I will not hesitate to kill you, got it?

And don't think that you'll grow more powerful than a Magi, you can't even get more power than that little twerp Aladdin so don't even try got it?

Oh and you can tell Sinbad that once I'm done with Ja'mom over here that he's next. AGH!


	6. Dungeon capturer-Sinbad

Thanks to Ja'far's daring escape we were able to get the book back in our possession, thank you Ja'far.

(He's currently sulking in the corner cursing this books existence and our carelessness, but he'll be okay.)

Although Ja'far escaped Judar did as well, so unfortunately we may never get an explanation from him.

Alas we may never know why he wrote 'Agh'. What strange words they are too.

Oh, Ja'far apparently stabbed him in the back. But that doesn't explain why he wrote Agh. I mean you're supposed to say agh, not write agh.

Anyway enough with the ooings and aghings. (see what I did there?)

Now that you've been in the world a little while the novelty of it is most likely wearing off.

But if you're starting to get homesick or bored just do what I do and go capture a dungeon.

Just kidding. Dungeon capturing is very dangerous and difficult, so doing it on a whim would be careless.

However at some point having a metal vessel could come in handy for you, so if you feel ready for it I encourage you to capture a dungeon of your own.

You'll need to learn to fight of course, however this shouldn't take long at all because part of your power as a MarySue is to be able to pick up complex concepts and develop abilities in no time at all. (This is the skill you will rely on the most, or at least from what I have seen.)

Then once you've trained a bit you'll need to take someone with you. If you are in love with someone this would be a good chance to bond with them.

No matter what happens after your stay here you will be taken to a dungeon at some point, so best do it quick and get it over with right?

The Djin you'll receive will either have a very similar power to an existing Djin or will be so powerful you won't know what to do with it. You might also be lucky enough while in the dungeon to gain the power of love. (Nothing says romance like dangerous adventuring together am I right?)

Just stick to basic training for now and prepare yourself for what is to come. Good luck - King Sinbad, adventurer of the seven sees.


End file.
